I think many of my friends would agree that this engagement was a long time coming. Every time I turned around, I felt like it was the perfect time to get engaged.
We went to Puerto Rico and he met my extended family. We were on that beautiful island for almost two weeks. Nothing. We celebrated New Years. Nothing. I hit the landmark of living in my own house for a year. Nothing. We celebrated Valentine's Day. Nothing. He went to church's men's retreat where my old high school youth pastor spoke and came back the day before my birthday. Nothing. Would he propose on St. Patrick's Day to be random? Nope. Easter? Nothing. But almost.
Ah! The almost! Well, on Easter, John and I went to church with my parents and had brunch at my house with them. They left and I thought we would go to Daffodil Hill* and see an abundance of my favorite flower. We were so exhausted that we both took a nap instead and woke up for dinner time. We ended up going to Chinese and afterwards we got the following fortunes:
John: Do it now! Today is tomorrow's yesterday.
Dagnes: Don't let a once in a lifetime opportunity pass you by.
So, of course, I got snarky and asked him "Got anything to ask me?" And he did. "Should we start walking home?" And we did. And it hurt. And it continued to hurt when I figured he was just waiting until we got home. But NOTHING.
All of this came together and I began to wonder what was keeping him from proposing. He loves me, I know, but does he love me enough to get married? We "discussed" this (i.e. I cried and he sat patiently while he reminded me that if he proposed, I would always wonder about his motivation) over the next few days and I began to wonder how much more time I should give him until I needed to protect my heart. I know how much I love him, but I needed to know how much he loved me. And I threw down the gauntlet - he had to tell me why he loved me. What made me so special?!?
And almost immediately he told me in so many different ways. I was so incredibly shocked that he was expressing himself and telling me how much he appreciated me in his life and how much he felt so undeserving. I almost interrupted him to tell him that wasn't the way things were or that I felt the same way about him, but he already knew these things and this was his moment to really express himself. I was so touched by what he said that my heart was finally assuaged and I knew that things would be better in the coming days.
So, on March 27 (coincendentally 3 and 1/2 years after our first real date), when I got home from work, John was sitting at the kitchen counter, which was odd. He usually doesn't get to my house until about a 1/2 hour after I do. If he had a short day, he's usually in the living room watching TV or at the kitchen table on the computer. But he was at the counter, dressed in church clothes (polo and non-denim shorts) and he was smiling. I didn't think much of it because I was running around looking for my car keys. His car was not parked on the driveway or in front of my house either. So, while I explained to him that I wanted my keys so I could go get my thyroid (important!), I ran up the stairs and quizzed him about how he got to my house.
Did you bike? Nope.
"Did you WALK??" "No." And laughter.
"Well, how in the world did you get here? Where's your car?" "Outside."
"No it isn't!? Whatever, do you want to come with me to get my meds?" "Sure."
And then down the stairs we went. And he stood over by the hall closet down stairs and I looked at him and he had this sheepish grin on his face and then I happened to look past him into the living room. And I saw a giant TV! And then I gasped "Oh my God!" and then he asked me to marry him. And of course I said yes and we kissed and then I called my parents who already knew, sent text messages to Mark, who introduced us, and my brother, and sent out a mass e-mail.
Apparently, John had taken a 1/2 day at work and called my father for his blessing and then went out to get the engagement TV. Then he hauled it to my house and had his Bible Study leader, Curt, help him set it up and then went home to get purty and then waited until I got back to my house. His car had been parked across the street to throw me off. And was I ever! I totally love the TV (40" Sony Bravia XBR) and I am so glad we stuck with it.
You're probably wondering about what a TV has to do with an engagement. I've never been much for jewelry and early on - before I met John - I realized that I was the kind of person who would only wear her wedding band once she was married and if I had an engagement ring, it would sit in the closet for the bulk of our married lives because I'm too sentimental to have it made into something else. It seemed a waste and after you factor that in with the whole eco-socio-political thing about diamonds and the cost, it just wasn't that appealing to me. So, I decided that I would like a big screen TV; it's still extravagant, but it's practical.
On our first date, John and I talked about relationships and expectations and somehow we got around to engagement rings (a serious first date no-no topic but we went there anyway) or something and I told him how I'd like a TV. That hooked him, I guess. And over the course of our relationship, we've swayed back and forth about the issue and how people would know I was engaged and everything. The ring, is just a symbol, and diamonds for engagements became a fad in the 20th century, so it wasn't like it had any particular meaning for me. And a TV, large and extravagant, or super techy, is also just a symbol. But the beauty of the TV is that its something we can both enjoy together. So, that's why there was a TV in my living room instead of a diamond ring on my finger. And it is a glorious TV. I love it. And I'm so very happy.
And the first movie we watched was "Over the Hedge" so that we could get a good sense of the HD qualities of the TV.
*Daffodil Hill: http://www.amadorcountychamber.com/Daffodil%20Hill.htm
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