Some progress

Well, this week started out with a bang! I am still in a happily surprised state about the sample dress being mailed to my house.

On Monday evening, I talked with a seamstress that Karen recommended when we thought we might need a new dress. Claudine of Bridal Perfections, http://www.bridalperfections.com/ happens to have enough time in her schedule to be able to take me on as a client. We've set an appointment up for Tuesday evening to go over the dress and what options I have to get it sized and styled. I'm pretty confident that she'll be able to work with my dress and if not, we'll have a set plan for what I'll wear on August 8th (six weeks and six days from today, eek!).

The few times I have spoken with Claudine via phone and through our e-mails, I have felt really good about working with her. Needless to say, I'm a little skittish about working with anyone right now. However, she has come highly recommended. Not only has Karen praised her work, but Lisa of Dream Weddings (the rental shop), said she was her first pick in local seamstresses to do alteration work. Claudine has always returned my e-mails within an hour and gave me an outline of what her summer schedule would be like so that I would know what our time line could look like.

On Wednesday, while my uncle was flying home to surprise his two daughters, John and I were tasting our meal options for the reception. We went through salad and dressings, bread, and four meal choices pretty quickly. And the decisions, were pretty effortless. I don't know what I expected, but it was such a smooth experience that I was bewildered when it was all over. It felt almost anticlimactic. I definitely needed dessert to tie it all together.

Cake tasting will be today, though. We had originally thought that we could pick up the cakes on any day of the week, so I planned to bring the cakes to my Bible study group for a fun way to hang out. To keep the cake tasting cost low, tasting cakes are only offered for Saturday pick up. That, of course, changes my plans for a mini party and leaves us with more cake (aw!). In a few hours, John and I will pick up three cakes, each with a different filling. Ordering the cakes gave me a buzz of happy excitement last Saturday. Today, I'll just be buzzed from the sugar high.

My aunt will be making some sugar flowers to decorate the cake. Knowing her absolute love for cake decorating and her talent, this will be a super pretty cake. I have been assured that the cakes will taste as amazing as I have imagined it. Karen often uses Mary Anne of Baker's Delight (no website, sorry) for cakes. My Bible study leaders also had their cake made by her shop and have said it was a great tasting cake. I may have built this up in my mind too much, but I'll know in a few hours.

Last night, John and I visited a local restaurant that could accommodate us for our rehearsal dinner. I expect to have an informational packet later this weekend from their manager. We're hoping to have a relaxed atmosphere for our dinner where we can decompress before the wedding and all of the formality that will ensue. We were going to have it at the Chinese restaurant, Wok of Flame, the site of the infamous fortune cookies, but the restaurant doesn't have a private space where we could interact with everyone.

It's pretty much been all about food this week. Food and the dress. The Dress Incident has been the topic of many conversations and e-mails. It was definitely a memorable experience and one that no one wants to endure. I think my mom is still shell shocked, but recuperating nicely. I'm not sure what kind of recourse I have with the credit card company since I have a sample dress, but my mom is handling that for me (woo hoo!), so we'll see.

This weekend will a busy one. I have envelopes to address and get mailed out. Another one of my aunts is in town visiting, so I'll be heading to my parents' house to spend some time with her. John's friend retired and there's a party to attend tonight. Oh well, the cake will see us through the weekend, I'm sure.

Flying Pigs

Shocker of all shockers!

My dress was waiting for me on my porch this evening!

Well, it's not really my dress, but the sample that I tried on. Inside the box, that John brought in (No, he didn't see it!), was the dress protected by a large garment bag and a handwritten note.

Dagnes,

I am sorry to inform you that Gerlach Couture Bridal will be closing due to unforeseen circumstances. The business will be filing Chapter 7 Bankruptcy.

I feel absolutely terrible, but I had no choice. I do however have the sample that you tried on in the store. I know that the dress was a little small, but you can take it to alterations and have them make it fit you perfectly.

I am so sorry ... you could never imagine how horrible I feel and how hard it is for me to write this letter.

I am in a terrible financial situation and have no choice.

I hope everything goes well for you and your marriage.

I know a couple of seamstresses that I have used that have done a wonderful job. There is Galina's alterations and Moonlight Alterations.

Sincerely, Gerlach Couture

On other websites, people have expressed their frustrations about how Erica closed the doors to her business. Some even wondered if this was a purposeful sham intent on bilking thousands of dollars from starry eyed brides. I had chosen to think that it's been an unfortunate situation and she's become overwhelmed with everything. Apparently, that was the case.

Whatever the cause of the situation, it's happened and hopefully we can all learn from it. I've learned the importance of paying deposits and using credit cards to minimize the chance of loss. And letting go has given me an incredibly freeing feeling.

For once, I didn't worry about what I was going to wear. Uncharacteristically, I didn't obsess about details and refused to get angry with the situation. I had a back-up plan (renting a gown) and was content going that route. I chose to focus on the good that was in my life: John and I are healthy, have jobs, and are in good financial positions. My uncle will be home this summer from Iraq after serving for 17 months. My aunt finished cancer treatment is on her way to recovery. Of all the things to focus on, I told myself, there were far more positive things to think about.

This was one of those moments where I trusted that everything would work out.

And it did!

I hope that this story has restored some faith in humanity for a few of you or helped you see the truth of Matthew 6:25-34.

Oh yeah, and Friday the 13th is just a silly superstition.

Friday the 13th

I woke up yesterday morning with an ominous feeling and then I remembered that it was Friday the 13th and that it was just the superstition associated with the day. I remember one time when I was younger, I fretted about Friday the 13th and my mother reminded me that we are Puerto Rican and that it's actually Tuesday the 13th that is the ominous day for us. So, I laughed off the eerie feeling yesterday morning and got dressed; making a point to outfit myself in non-black clothing and just have a good day. I was getting my eye-brows done after work, so how could the day go wrong?!?

My work day went on without a hitch. I found out that Tim Russert died, which was insanely shocking to me. He was my one news solace after I lost David Bloom. Tim Russert always asked great questions and made people think. My Sunday mornings will be different without him. I figured that his passing was a sign that I shouldn't get too attached to news reporters and that this was the bad part of this particular Friday the 13th.

When I woke up this morning, I found my phone had somehow turned itself off last night. I figured that before Bible study, I had better check my messages. I had two messages that were spaced about 30 minutes apart - one from my mother and one from Karen, my wedding planner. Both had an urgent tone. Karen had mentioned that she wanted to talk about my wedding dress shop. My mom's was vague. I called Karen back figuring that one of her poor brides had a terrible incident and needed a good bridal shop. Since there were no subsequent messages from my mother or other family members, I figured it was just my imagination about my mother being panicked. I would call her later, I decided.

Like an understanding bride with a wonderful dress waiting for her, I could not let one of my peers spend another minute without a great dress shop. I broke my phone call rule (all calls between 10am and 10pm) and got a hold of Karen on her cell phone and that's when Karen broke the news.

I am the bride with no dress.

Apparently, on last night's news, during a follow up about another bridal shop that closed its doors in a nearby town, the station announced that my bridal shop had also closed its doors. My dress, fully paid for, would not be worn on my wedding day.

Oddly enough, I am not stressed about it. I know, it's very un-bride like, or even Dagnes-like, for that matter. The dress, typically, isn't just any dress for brides. It's the dress. The piece that the entire wedding is designed around. It sets the tone of the wedding. It's the dreamy part of the wedding; the fantasy made real. For me, it was just another element of the wedding. As I told Karen this morning at our cake appointment, what matters is John. If he's there, then I'm okay.

I thought, when I put down the full amount of the dress, that I was making life easier for myself. That I was spreading out the cost of the wedding and allowing for some financial breathing room. I figured it would be one less cost to keep track of and it would allow Erica Gerlach to order all of her materials without any problem. Apparently, there was a problem. Unfortunately, I was not personally made aware of this by Erica or any of her personnel.

On the other side, I have a lot to be thankful for. Here's my Pollyanna spin:

• I purchased my dress with a credit card and my mother has already contacted them to start the proceedings to get the charges reversed (Not only is there a strong chance I'll get my money back, but my mom is handling the arduous task!).
• I don't have a wedding party, so I was the only person in my wedding that was financially hurt by this situation and I only need to find one replacement dress.
• I didn't buy my accessories yet; the undergarments, shoes, jewelry, and little handbag that I want to perfectly match my dress. They are still out there waiting to be found.
• Karen has already sent me a list of reputable shops that I could get my new dress from.
• I may be able to find a dress that works better with August weather or one that is more like the dress I fell in love with in a Martha Stewart wedding magazine.
• I may find a more casual dress that won't require John to wear a tux and then he will have a suit that he can wear in the future.
• I get to go wedding dress shopping again! One of my aunts will be in town next week and my mom and I wanted to find a way to include her in some wedding details and now we were given this opportunity.
• And most importantly, I have 8 weeks before the wedding.
  

Eight weeks is plenty of time to get a last minute dress. It may not be perfect, but it will keep me covered. Perhaps I can meet with another couture shop and get a dress made. Most likely, I will get an off the rack dress or go back to Dream Weddings and rent a gown. Whatever the case, time is on my side.

These are the facts that have comforted me throughout the day. I have meditated on them while we walked about the mini mall of Woodland and our happy toy store, Costco. I meandered about and came across a wedding magazine and a sad feeling washed over me as I stared at the cover.

I suddenly realised here I am a bride with no bridal dress. That's about as sad as a lost puppy. And I've been playing this all wrong: I should act more grieved. I could get away with so much right now! I could have my feet rubbed and chocolate cake fed to me intravenously. Everyone would forgive the insane requests. "She has no dress!" they would whisper amongst themselves as they decided which of my favorite meals would need to be cooked. Oh man! I have had the wrong reaction to this situation.

Seriously, though, the sad part is that there are brides out there that are getting married in a few weeks. They designed their dream dresses with Erica and their hopes are completely shattered. Their whole bridal party was to be dressed in one-of-a-kind gowns and now they have the painful task of finding something else to wear. Most likely, nothing will add up to what they hoped for or dreamed of, but hopefully, these brides will have a wonderful support staff - a groom who can make their worries go away, moms who will rally their spirits and organize new shopping trips, and planners and friends who have encouraging words.

I have told Karen more than once that I am determined to not get stressed over the details of the wedding. I guess I got to prove that to her through this situation. This was an excellent way for me to be able reaffirm that for myself as well. Oh, that Pollyanna spin!

The great part about this situation is that I found out how much a person of prayer Karen is. I have several people in my life that I pray with. I also know of a few that pray over me and the details of my life, but I never suspected that Karen was also praying over the details of my wedding. That makes me feel pretty special.

If you know of any local shops or tailors, please let me know. Apparently, I'm in the market for a new dress.

Our First Decision

Being at Emily's wedding and reception made me think about what ours would look like in 60 days. Her wedding ceremony was poignant and personal. It was absolutely lovely. The reception was intimate and relaxed. It really reflected who they were as a couple and as individuals. Several people told me that this was the best wedding that they had ever been to.

When John and I found ourselves in conversation with others, the topic quickly turned to our upcoming nuptials and the honeymoon. Most people assumed that we haven't made our honeymoon plans, which is odd to me since we had been strongly urged by friends and parents to start booking our plans immediately.

On a drive home from visiting John's parents the weekend after we got engaged, John asked me about what I envisioned for our honeymoon. We started chatting and realized we had similar plans. I wanted to go somewhere in California and explore the state's beautiful coastline. John's desire was to have a relaxing honeymoon - one that didn't involve planes - where we could not worry about seeing important sites, but really focus on each other. Our two ideas easily meshed and we quickly formed a plan to drive up the coast and stay in a few coastal towns.

Originally, the plan was to fly into San Diego and drive up to Napa with a stop in San Simeon. Oddly enough, one of the bridal magazines I bought had a road trip honeymoon section that outlined everything for us. When we mapped it out, we realized that would be more driving than relaxing, so over time, the plan has morphed into what it is now: a tour of the Northern California coast.

We are so excited about our upcoming honeymoon and love so many aspects of the plan. I have always wanted to be able to return on anniversaries to our honeymoon locale and this will help make that an option for the years to come. The weather should be mild, even in August, so we will be comfortable. The views will be undoubtedly gorgeous and the small towns will be quaint and lend itself to the relaxing vibe we hope to capture for our week away. Much of the trip will be an area of the state that neither one of us have been to as adults and we'll be able to explore it together.

During our research for our honeymoon, we came across several places we could stay at. Most are deluxe accommodations, but if you're looking to splurge for a weekend away, you may consider one of these:

Bodega Bay Inn http://www.woodsidehotels.com/bodega/index.html
Breakers Inn http://www.breakersinn.com/rooms_rates/rooms_rates.html
Carmel Valley Ranch http://www.carmelvalleyranch.com/
Cavalier Resort http://www.cavalierresort.com/index.html
Harbor House Inn http://www.theharborhouseinn.com/
Monterey Plaza http://www.woodsidehotels.com/monterey/index.html
Old Monterey Inn http://www.oldmontereyinn.com/
Sanctuary Beach Resort http://www.thesanctuarybeachresort.com/
Sycamore Springs Resort http://www.sycamoresprings.com/index.html
Tickle Pink Inn http://www.ticklepinkinn.com/index.cfm

There were many more, of course, but these are the ones I bookmarked that made both of us say "OOH!" and contemplate staying there.

My Best Friend's Wedding

Emily is getting married today. Omigosh!

Emily
is
getting
married
today!

I don't know how this day snuck up on me, but it did. I've known it was coming since their engagement in October and I've been preparing a toast ever since. I've had many drafts written mentally throughout the months and yet, two weeks ago, everything left my mind. I completely forgot about my toast. The speech that I had so carefully crafted, and absentmindedly not written down, was nowhere to be found. Not even in the deep recesses of my mind.

I'm the Maid of Honor. I shouldn't forget. And yet, when her mom asked me about it last night at the rehearsal dinner, I got that panicked feeling like I had a test I didn't study for. One that I thought was next week. Duh!

Thankfully, the words came quickly this morning and I have something to share while all eyes are on me. Hopefully they'll be on the couple because public speaking isn't my thing.

I heard once that some philosophers believe that life begins at the moment you truly love. Having known Emily for half her life, I know she had life before she met Marc, but when I look back at the start of their relationship, I see how alive she is now that she knows Marc.

Emily has a lightness and giddiness that I never saw before in her. The friend that I've known actually giggles now. Giggles. There is a smile and warmness that cannot be wiped away when she’s in your presence. Marc, I thank you for bringing that to Emily’s life.

As a long standing friend, it’s my duty to give you some warning about hurting her. But I know, with you, that’s not something I ever have to utter. I see how you are with her. How protective, with your arm constantly around her. How caring you are; always looking to make sure that she’s comfortable and happy.

It is a beauty – and an honor - to see your relationship and the love that you two have for each other. The two of you just gravitate towards each other. Inseparable. May your love continue to grow and deepen throughout the years of your marriage. And may you always be giddy.

To Marc and Emily!

I've gotten all misty eyed and girly several times while typing out what I have to say, so we'll see how well I'll hold it together. Thankfully, her family is known for being marshmallows, so I'll be in good company.