A Great Billboard

Now that we've moved, my route home involves very little freeway travel which has limited my exposure to billboards and their announcements.

Earlier this week I came across the most truthful billboard I have ever seen.  It had a bold red background and a gleaming box of fries emblazoned with the McDonald's emblem.  The words "happiness in a box" were neatly hanging over the box.  Oh, so very true.

My mouth watered as I thought about those deliciously fried potatoes.  My mind wandered and danced about the memories of fry-filled meals.  There is just something so amazing about McDonald's fries.  I've never met anyone that denies its superiority over all others fries.  Everyone I know judges all fries against the Golden Standard of what is the McDonald's fry.  I've enjoyed curly, seasoned, and natural cut, but they've never satisfied me as those from the world famous burger chain.

I remember reading that when McDonald's opened their first restaurant in Russia that they shipped out potatoes from the states because they could not replicate the flavor with the potatoes native to the area.  If I recall correctly, the Russian potatoes had a higher concentration of starch and resulted in an oddly tasting fry.  It had never occured to me that potatoes were that different, but clearly the difference was substantial enough that a giant corporation could not get behind their product unless they shipped another potato clear across the world.

Even with my current weight loss regime, I save room for fries as a guilty pleasure and treat.  And that billboard reminded of the deep fried goodness that I haven't enjoyed in a while. 

Teen Wolf

I have this theory about movies - if a movie has more than 2 A-listers, you've got a real stinker on your hands. It may be popular, but it's definitely not worth movie ticket prices. Save your coins and rent the thing.

Apparently, some Twilight saga teen wolf agrees with me and is already bashing the upcoming release of a movie so packed with stars that the opening scenes will look like the closing credits.

There are, of course, some exceptions to this rule. I've had to come up with categories to organize the anomalies and make sense of the stray movies that don't follow my rule.

If the movie is a series of vignettes and not one complete story, you have the opportunity of each actor shining alone and still making the story work. There's a greater chance that it's a winning delightful 2 hour jaunt, but odds are still low that it will be a shining start. Since most movies are one fluid story, A-listers are more apt to be competing for attention and screen time. I haven't seen the award-winning Crash, but I've heard it's in vignette style and would fit within this category.

If one of the A-listers is a character actor, you could potentially have a good movie on your hands. The Kates (Blanchett and Winslet) and the Bad Guys (Oldman and Malkovich) are actors who meld into a story rather than try to overpower it.

And lastly, the ultimate anomaly: a well written screenplay with a solid story and a director with uncompromising vision. These are often historical epics like Cold Mountain, but The Departed is also nestled within this category.

Now that I've put this theory out there, I realize it's up for scrutiny.

I'm constantly trying to find a movie that doesn't fit within these categories but is still a good movie (even award winning) and with those, I usually find stars who've come out of retirement (quasi-character actors) or actors who weren't known until after the movie's success. Steel Magnolia, The Color Purple, Gladiator, The Lord of The Rings trilogy.

Add to the list, please.

Groundhog Day

This past Christmas John and I gave each other books that would encourage us to read our Bible daily. I've really been slacking with my Bible studies lately and have spent nearly a year without cracking open the Good Book on a non-Sunday, so the books I've received were welcome gifts.

A friend of mine once told me that to get into the habit of doing a daily Bible study, she did a 30-day challenge. She would try to do her studies every morning for 30 days straight. If she missed a day, she would have to start her count over. So, with the beginning of the new year, I figured I'd take on that challenge and crack open one of my new books and my Bible.

I made it three days the first week. The next week, a whopping four. And my longest run, was last week - five days. I'm not surprised by my inability to get into the groove of this, but I am somewhat disappointed in myself.

What adds to the discouragement, is that the book I'm currently reading is set up for a specific lesson each week. There's a reading for each day of the week. Most devotional books I've come across are set up for a specific day of the year. With those other books, if I miss a day, I just pick up on the reading for that day and then move on with my challenge. This book, however, builds on each lesson, so I feel obligated to go back to the first day of the week.

The problem? I'm stuck on the chapter on Forgiveness.

Reading and learning about forgiveness is like praying for patience. It's one of those things that you just need to be careful about what you pray for. Who wants to deal with forgiveness? I sure don't. The heartache, the pain, the feelings of being wronged by others. I don't want to revisit any of that. I so much prefer to sweep it away and lock it up in some "let's not talk about it" closet than have to face it head on.

The first week I read up on this chapter, I was confronted with a friend's belief that I didn't agree with. It's nothing new to me to not agree with others, but this statement hurt me. It cut me to the core. I was insulted and felt completely betrayed by the comment. I couldn't make sense of it all. Normally, I would try to ignore the statement and let someone have their First Amendment rights. But this, this one hurt a lot. So, I decided to let my friend know how much it hurt. I wasn't out to change her mind or to make her speak PC, but I wanted her to see what I saw. Or at least how this comment could come across to others.

Unfortunately for me, my life and actions are not scripted out. I have free will and often let emotions overrule gentile behavior and manners. Rather than being biblical and taking my friend aside and addressing the issue in private, I made the mistake of airing it on Facebook. Way to villainize a friend, right? By the time I decided to delete the message and address the issue in private, my friend beat me to the good manners and sent me a note. Here was a moment where I had to deal with forgiveness. Where I had to face a person who hurt me and deal with it.

I'm terrible at this kind of thing. Thankfully, this incident happened on the web and not in person. I'm such a people pleasing person that I end up brushing off what I really want to say in hopes of keeping the peace rather than addressing the issue and having a clean slate. In the back and forth of our messages, I realized that it took a while for my friend to apologize. She made more statements that were intended to excuse her comment rather than to say she was sorry. As much as I want to give people the opportunity to see my point of view, I knew that this was a situation where all I could do to better the relationship was to accept the apology. Trying to impress my view on her was not going to honor her or her beliefs.

After that incident, I went back to my readings on forgiveness. And the next week, almost to the day, I had a really bad interaction at work. Really bad. I would have to say it's the second lowest professional moment I've ever had. The first one being where I called a construction site superintendent (my company's money making client) an unfeeling backwards narcissistic chauvinist pig. I've basically blocked that moment out of my memory but I know it was a low point. One of those points where you wonder if you're going home. Forever.

Last week's incident didn't make question my job security, but I was definitely ashamed that I had let things escalate to a point where I was unprofessional and didn't reflect the kind of employee my boss deserves to have. I had a wicked headache and was determined to do payroll and leave. And while that's no excuse, it helps set the stage. My coworker forwarded me a call that I knew would either be quick or really drawn out and leave me defensive. And since I've already prefaced this story, you know which one I received.

The woman who called works in an office that I've deemed to have an Environment of Anger. It took me a while to realize it's not so much her and her personality, but rather where she works. Of all the companies I interact with, this one seems to have the highest number of employees who our office has heated exchanges with. A year ago, I was told that my methods were "f'd up" and that we should change how we handle things. Apparently, deadline calendars were beneath them and unnecessary. I had someone else take care of that issue and bend the rules. I couldn't bring myself to reward that behavior. Gee, I wonder why I need to learn how to forgive??

This time, the woman who called and heard it from her superiors and had the joyous task of sending it my way because we have a tighter working relationship. Their thought was that I was that this friendly relationship would make me change in a way that benefited them. I was so incredibly defensive that I didn't hear half of what she was saying. I spent 30 minutes not listening to her and still defending my actions. I've replayed the "conversation" in my head so many times and have found so many places where I could have been a better person / employee / Christian worker and ended the call. My pride really got in the way. I wanted to make excuses for everything. I wanted her to see how brilliant a worker I was and how I was addressing their needs as a subcontractor. I was the good guy. The white hatted cowboy. She was flinging mud on me. To top if off, I had a headache, so I was the poor defenseless good guy. How could she not see that and back off?!?

When we finally got off the phone with an agreement for her coworkers to just toss my hard work away and ignore it so that they wouldn't get mad and could feel superior, I was feeling so incredibly beat up and dejected. I felt like a failure on so many levels. I cried a lot. Like a stupid girl. That kind of blubbery cry that makes you want to slap someone. Just lame. Seriously.

At first, I cried because I had been in a verbal sparring match and I was wiped out emotionally and physically. Then I cried because I had lost. Then I cried over how poorly I behaved. A few hours later, I received an e-mail of apology from the woman (!), so of course, I cried over how this angry woman who dealt out so much animosity, was a better person than me. As the day wore on, I realized some other things. 1) I had more to read on forgiveness and 2) I had committed to pray for her and the other employees of Acerbic, Inc. that the environment of anger would be replaced with one of peace.

I really beat myself up over the last one. It was a terrible way to start the new year. And much worse as an opening to a year of prayer for someone.

I returned home resolved to complete my week of devotional readings and make it through seven days straight so that I could move on to another lesson grouping. I woke up in the middle of the night with the dreadful realization that I had not done my reading (the last one for the week) and that I would once again start another week-long lesson on forgiveness.

Thank you, Jesus!

So, this week started with that cloud of consternation hanging over me, much like Bill Murray's character in Groundhog Day where he was doomed to repeat a day until he gets it right. Would moments where forgiveness were needed continue to cross my path until I had a better response? I've spent the week walking on egg shells around this topic wondering when this opportunity would present itself. When I would have to forgive someone else.

And it's hit me. It's not so much that I have to forgive someone, but that I need to ask for forgiveness for my behavior from both of these women. I shouldn't have been so defensive and should have listened to the second one. With the first, I should have handled the situation more privately. I'm hoping that one day, I will have it right. Until then, I'm still trying to figure it all out.

17 Again

I had the "pleasure" of visiting the DMV today.

I was confident that it would be fairly empty and that I'd be in and out of that office in just a few short minutes. Did I mention I was also on glue?!?

What was waiting for me on the other side of the tinted glass doors was the exact opposite of what I had been expecting. Empty chairs and shiny faces were no where to be found. I stepped inside of a very busy, fairly packed room. The boredom could not be wiped from the faces of my cohorts. The drudgery was plain to see: glossy eyes, slumped bodies, and a high volume of sweat pants.

There are several places where people-watching is prime and the DMV office is one such place. The mall and theme parks allow you to witness family dynamics and dysfunctional behavior. Whereas the DMV offers a different kind of voyeuristic fun. Here, you can watch people wither away as they wait. The fun of people-watching there is making internal bets with yourself.

And with the plethora of people, I had my pick this afternoon. Everyone was in front of me, so clearly, I figured I would have a full turn around before I left. Instead of focusing on who I would beat to the window, I tried to figure out who would try to strike up a conversation with a stranger (lady with a rat's nest of a hairstyle) and who would try to act superior and above it all by brandishing a cell phone (well dressed hipster).

There was one man who was particularly chatty, so I figured because of his upbeat attitude, he was either a cheerful person by nature or he actually conned someone to come with him. The more I watched him, the more I became convinced he had an appointment. His Promethean move annoyed me, so I turned my attention to the actual workers.

Of course they looked as lively as all of their patrons. Drab clothing and lifeless visages. Nothing exciting on their desks like figurines, photos, or flowers. It was like they had no personality. Their reputations are apparently justified. I watched the lady that would later help me process my paperwork. She was drenched in brown - a whole pantsuit - that actually matched her hair. Seriously, a Hollywood costumer couldn't stage a better character.

As I watched her, I saw a smile. Not just a little upward crack of the lip that one would expect as a cordial end to a transaction, but a nearly Cheshire-like grin. Gleaming white teeth. It was nearly 30 minutes into my wait and here was someone who was genuinely happy - the first one of my tenure in the waiting area. And of course, it belonged to a teenager the only group that could show happiness in this office. I read his lips proudly proclaim his age: 15 and a HALF.

Oh those extra six months. They make such a difference, don't they? I can't remember the last time I announced my age and didn't use a whole number. It's been a long time. Eons.

As this man-child, who will soon be on the road behind the wheel, furiously nodded his head in optimism, I watched Tan Tess sigh deeply and ask the requisite questions. No shared excitement from her. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt and think she's trying to show this teen the responsibilities of driving. The odd part of the whole scene was that the dad was happy too. He must be tired of being a chauffer.

I waited another 15 minutes before I was helped and never saw another smile until I looked at my reflection in the glass of the exit door.

Judgement Day: Review of Your Shape

After a few months of anticipation and excitement, my House Party has come and gone. And, just like Christmas, there was so much to plan for and get ready and think about and then in a blink of an eye, it was over.

I haven't exercised in about 3 years. In those three years, I have really gotten out of shape, so when this opportunity came to host a party and try out a workout Wii game, I figured, this was my chance to jump start my healthy living. I am so glad I did it. In preparation for the party, I worked out with Your Shape about a month ahead of time. At first, it was to make sure I was familiar with the ins and outs of the program and then it was because I became one of those people I never thought I would become - a person who missed doing the workout. Whaaa?!?

Me, the chief couch potato, actually could not wait to get back in the schedule of working out. That was a surprise and a half to me. I was not expecting to get that excited about a workout video / game. All in all, the following is a review of what my friends and I think about Your Shape.

We found that this was far easier to use than EA Sports Active. You plug in the camera, you select your workout, you put down your Wii-mote and you do your workout. Everything is tracked by the camera and you don't have to worry about your thigh holster slipping down your leg. You're not constantly picking up and putting away the nunchuck. It's just you and the screen.

You do need to make sure you dress in clothing that contrasts with your surroundings and your area is well lit. Other than that, no other preparation is needed.

There are four pre-set workout themes available to you, but you also have an option of selecting what areas of your body you want to focus on for your workouts including a generic weight loss. With the options, you can really tailor a program for what you want. The beauty is that you can't get bored with your workouts, unlike a video where you do the same two or three exercises each time. Here, you tell the system what you want to work out and each time you return, there's a different combination of things to do.

When one new mom tried out the Active Mommy workout yesterday, she looked like she was breezing through it and wasn't getting challenged. However, later on in the workout, she mentioned that her arms were tiring. And that she could feel the stretches in her abs. I tried the Bikini-Ready workout and I my untoned abs can attest to the pain of the first workout as well.

Jenny McCarthy's avatar is bubbly, perky, and everything you would expect from an aerobics instructor. If you're grumpy and just not in the mood, the positive spirit can be a bit much, but when you're in pain and suffering through the workout, a little sunshine can go a long way. And just like an aerobics class, once you start your workout, you just keep moving. For those of you who are like me - hopelessly uncoordinated - the workouts can take a while to "master."

One mom said that the Your Shape workouts reminded her of a boot camp class she took at a local gym. I have several friends who have taken that class and they all say that the class got them in the best shape of their lives. Had I heard that prior to taking on these regular workouts, I would have shied away from Your Shape. However, for those easing into the workout world, this is a good system. If you take it seriously, it will work you hard, but nothing so hard you can't get back to it in a day or two.

The only negatives we could find were that you cannot notify the system to adjust around sensitive body areas (hurt knees, bad back, etc.) and that - like all workout videos we've used - you are not talked through the exercises when faced away from the screen. This leaves you either with neck strain as you habitually look to the screen for clues as to when you should switch sides or ignoring one side of your body.

All in all, it's a great system to use. A few friends, including my mom, are planning on getting Your Shape for the computer. My mother-in-law has already purchased it to replace her other Wii workout.