It's been a long while since I last added an entry to this blog. I think of it often, but never feel like there's much to write about. My life has been quiet. In the grand scheme of things, that's not a bad thing. However, for the sake of entertainment on a blog site, it doesn't prompt me to take hand to keyboard.
Last year, I decided to invest in myself and joined Weight Watchers. I have always been the skinny friend, eat anything I wanted and not worry about weight gain. Over the past five years, with aging and thyroid issues, the weight started to make a home for itself on my frame. At the end of 2009, I realized that during those years, I added a larger size to my closet and squeezed myself into older items. What was once a curved waist was now a boyish trunk. Pants that used to have a good break at the shoe now felt like they would break in the back.
Looking in the mirror and being honest with what I saw at that time was difficult, but I also knew that I had to get healthy. Those who are overweight have a higher likelihood of getting diabetes and are more prone to heart disease and so many other ailments. At some point, I reasoned with myself, it wouldn't be about moving up to the Big Girl stores, it would be about dealing with a heart attack or having to control my blood sugar.
I was very fortunate that the weight came off quickly and easily with the Weight Watchers program. Over the last year, I lost 47 pounds. I hit that goal in about 8 months and for the past four months I've been working on maintaining my weight. The majority of the time was spent just dieting. I exercised regularly the first two months of my diet and then I traded in my early morning workouts for sleep. I did Zumba about twice a week during the summer months and I think that kept me from getting stuck in a weight loss plateau.
If I could go back to when I first started my weight loss regime, I would have taken a photo so that I could remind myself of how far I have come. I can see ribs and my collarbone without sucking in and I fit into things that I wore when John and I first started dating (not just shoes and earrings), but sometimes I just want to be reminded of what I looked like to everyone else. Of course, hindsight is 20/20 and there are so many things I would do if I could go back in time.
I can't say that being smaller has made dramatic changes for me, my marriage, or anything else, but I am a bit happier. My body shape has changed and I don't know how to dress this new frame. I wish I could go back to the time where my shopping trauma was not knowing what to take home rather than which item has the least flaws. Hopefully, with time, I'll get there.
Until then, I have to battle the urge to eat anything in my site because I'm slimmer now and I want to stay that way.
Hopefully, I'll make more time to blog this year and I won't be so afraid to share.
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